Aashayein - Hope for the victims of Human Trafficking...

Now that was surprising! A “mandatory” presentation that we had to attend as a pre-requisite for the Impact Day – this was a first! Moreover we were asked to sign some document listing rules of dos and don’ts…
Impact Day in my organization is a day when all the employees spend a day in service of community to create an impact – a positive difference in the lives of those who need some help. This impact day, as part of thread “Aashayein”, I was going to visit a government run hostel for the ladies and children who are rescued from human trafficking. We were going in collaboration with an NGO – IJM (International Justice Mission)...
… But none of the impact days before had asked for such a pre-requisite… so why now?
A little skeptical, I went to attend the presentation of the NGO person – Linda, an employee of IJM – who started giving us an overview of what we had enrolled into. As I listened to Linda’s sincere yet passionate speech and looked at the various pictures on her presentation which showed some of the “cases” of the rescued ladies, I soon started understanding why…
 
Why was it necessary to explain to the sophisticated audience of our employees what exactly they were going to visit? Why was it necessary to share with them the stories of where the rescued ladies in these hostels come from and how they landed there?

Hardly any of us really had full idea of the lives of the people we were going to visit… hardly any of us really understood or thought of what their life was like, what challenges they faced or where they need our help… hardly any of us thought that beyond the tag of “Prostitute” there lives a regular person like us with their own story…and we needed to know the facts...
For the first time in my life, I was going to visit the victims of human trafficking… ladies and children who were brought into trade by various channels and rescued by the police with active participation by the NGO personnel…I was filled with anticipation and a resolution to make the best of the time I will be spending in the rescue home and to create a positive impact for them…
On the morning of impact day, I reached the venue early in the morning as part of a team of around hundred volunteers….
While we were waiting to enter the premises, I again got a chance to interact with Linda and discuss these cases at length. This time Linda showed me a number of photos on her mobile and explained their backgrounds and current situation in details. Story after story emerged from Linda’s cell phone and painted in front of me a clear possibility of how you can touch and transform lives of people in need – if only you believed fully into the cause, made yourself available and took action with perseverance. Each of them was a story of Hope – story of “Aashayein”…
There was a smiling photograph of a mentally challenged girl who actually belonged to a wealthy family. She was deceived by a man and sold in a brothel. Her parents tried every angel and could not find her. She was found in one of the IJM led raids. When they found her she was in a very bad shape but was ultimately reunited with her parents. Now she is well cared for and back to her normal life.
I got tears in my eyes when she showed me snaps of an eight year old girl dancing happily in a school program. Even after rescue this girl cannot be returned to her family as her grandmother runs the brothel. IJM is now providing for her and looking after her security and schooling.
When Linda showed me snaps of a lady in nurse uniform she was especially proud. This lady was rescued three years ago. Since then she completed her nursing course and is now competently self-sufficient in her transformed life.
I was completely touched, moved and inspired… this is what “making a difference” meant… even if you are able to transform a single life like this… would that not be simply amazing?
As I listened to Linda, I kept thinking… what these ladies really need is counselling, mentoring, medical and financial aid. Money is a big issue for them – mainly due to their poor backgrounds and that is why a big difference can be made if they are given some vocational training – something which is possible for them and guaranteed to start them an income...
 
Finally we were allowed entry behind the huge grilled doors of the hostel premise…
There are around hundred ladies in there, claimed to be 18 plus in age, though some of them looked younger to me. As close to fifty of the volunteer ladies of my organization entered the premises wearing our blue t-shirt and jeans, the ladies of the home started observing us with a lot of nervousness, some speculation and a tentative friendly smile…
As an ice-breaker activity, we made groups and each of us got a couple of ladies assigned to us to interact with and we began a round of introduction… As I looked at each of the faces closely, I started to overcome my own nervousness and connect with them as fellow individuals…
Many of the ladies were shy to even speak their names. There was a lot of nervous giggle when asked to introduce themselves by telling us their name and what they like. A few ladies appeared very bold with bright red lipsticks and streaks of colored hair but they were actually very soft spoken and shy. On the other hand, a couple of saree clad ladies, whom I thought to be illiterate and simple, turned out to be quite confident and spoke well. Without any exception, all of them were very glad to receive us, to talk to us and interact with us. Many of them loved to sing and dance and cook and feed!
A Bengali lady started singing a song quite willingly and we all went silent. What a superb voice she had! So melodious and taking on a high pitch so comfortably like a trained classical singer… Without knowing what the song was all about, the emotion of the song touched my heart. It was sad and spoke of a tragedy... At the end, the singer explained the meaning to us – the song was of a flower blossoming in a garden, which was uplifted by someone unknown and thrown away… asking where is the garden where I was nurtured and where I belonged… As she explained the poignant meaning, she got sheen of tears in her eyes as they looked beyond the windows, but the smile remained fixed on her face…
We started conducting a session on personal hygiene for the ladies. As we asked them questions, a young girl called Sonia kept answering them all before anyone else. She soon caught my eye… God! But she was absolutely beautiful! Fair skin, smart and delicate features, lovely smile, lovely long hair… I could not believe that such a beauty is found in this place! Where has she come from? What happened to her? As I looked at that bold and beautiful girl my eyes fell to her wrists and arms… I felt like someone had slapped me awake from a dream… her arms had real bad scars… as if someone has burnt her with something or cut her with something sharp…
Oh my God! What has she gone through? Has her beauty cost her this? The manner of her speaking and the body language told me that she must have spent major part of her life with the same company… may be she doesn’t even know the world we live in… how I wished I could talk to her freely and ask her what is her story… could I work with her to pull her out from this? Such a smart spirited girl… she can have a bright future… who will create that possibility for her?
Post the hygiene session, we had a great game of passing the parcel. Each of the volunteers – who were now called as “Didi” – and a lady from the home formed a pair. The pair who is out was supposed to perform a dance or a song while all rest clapped and cheered…
As the game progressed, before our eyes, the initial shyness of the ladies faded away… soon we were all laughing out loud together, clapping together and singing on top of our voices together… The distance created by the vast differences in our upbringings, backgrounds, and society faded away and nothing really mattered then. We were simply together in those moments – enjoying a simple game to its fullest, joined by laughter and a basic sense of humanity – desire to belong and desire to include…!
As we played the game, a couple of five – six year old girls joined the group. My initial thought was that of an extreme shock – thinking that they are also the survivors! My heart wretched in pain and I could not wait to talk to them and find out how the girls are cared for… But soon I found out that their mothers are in the home and they are with their mothers. I sent a silent prayer of thanks to God…
Such sweet innocent faces! The girl named Pooja reminded me of my own daughter. The other was called Diya and wore cute little glasses – which still had the manufacturer label printed on them…
As we broke for lunch, I took the first opportunity to seek the girls out. The girls wanted more of the tissue papers we had used to make paper flowers. I offered them a few, used my experience as a mom and soon got them open up to me. Soon we were counting to thirty and reciting A B C D with phonics… Pooja said she learnt it when she was back home and really remembered it well!
Where is Pooja's home? Who taught her? Her mom seemed to be a good, genuine and an affectionate lady to me… if I had met her in normal society, I would have never suspected her to be a victim or a worker… What’s happened to them? What is their future? What is going to be Pooja and Diya’s future?
I pushed the thoughts aside for the moment and taught the girls to play ring-a-ring-a-roses… Soon the three of us were laughing and running a circle… I actually forgot that I was hungry since last couple of hours and had the lunch waiting… I did not want to leave them… I wanted to make them laugh, I wanted to teach them more… I wanted to know that as I leave them, they will be fine… I wanted to see the possibility of a bright future for them…
Post lunch, we got into a lantern making session with the ladies. I sat with two Bengali ladies – who were rescued just recently. Soon they shared that they had children of their own whom they had left home. One lady had left her five year old daughter in the care of her mother and had last seen her daughter one year ago. She spoke of her daughter with a constant smile on her face and deep longing in her voice. It was a mother who loved her child beyond everything and wanted to be with her more than anything. She would do anything for the well being of her child, to protect her child and to see her secure. As a mother, I resonated with that mother’s feeling. As a mother, I could just sense the depth of her misery when she had to abandon her child. What caused this? She was married… where is her husband? Or was it her husband who is behind where she is today? She was a Muslim and kept saying “Allah”… she held my hand when she said “Dua karo hum jaldi ghar jaye…” How I wished only my “Dua” would be enough for her to deal with this…
The other Bengali lady told me that she loves reading. She spoke English fluently and was educated. May be it was her education and larger understanding of the world that she appeared more like she has accepted the situation and looked to be strong enough to deal with it…
While making lanterns, I peeped through the open doors of the large hall like rooms where the ladies lived. The rooms had only that much which would be bare minimum required for a person to stay and sleep. Bunk beds with shabby beds and unclean sheets. Overall poor state of furniture and lack of cleanliness.
As I looked through the room, my eyes fell on a drawing of big cross made on a wall on which a cursive handwriting said – “Help me God! Please!!
I could not remove my gaze from that cross for a long time… Who wrote that? Clearly she could write in English. She must have been desperate and desolate… But importantly, when she wrote this here, she had already been rescued and just needed to return home… she should have been ideally happy or eager or may be impatient – not miserable!
But then the world is not black and white for these ladies who have only seen the shades of grey… Even after rescue, they depend on the NGO to look after them to work through the legalities. They need to find their families or find a secure job and means of earning. How many would be going back to what they were doing? How many are found by their previous owners again? How many are accepted by their families?
May be for some, the rescue would actually be like leaving a known, familiar world and trying to enter something where they have absolutely no idea how to survive! Who will give them this support or this confidence?
With that thought, once again, my eyes sought out the one person in the group who was most mysterious of all… At first look, I had mistaken her as one of the IJM volunteers and was completely shocked to know that she was also a survivor!
That foreigner – snow shite skin, golden hair, beautiful smile, who looked like a fair version of one of our Bollywood heroines - she had somehow ended up in a rescue home in India! By now, I had come to know that she is very humble, polite and actually very helpful to the NGO volunteers in dealing with the ladies. She must have spent at least a few years in India for she spoke quite a bit of Hindi. She was clearly very smart however after being with the ladies for a long period of time she had also become somewhat shy and I felt as if some of her original spirit must have left her… A wide scar ran from her lips to her mid-cheek adding to the darkness of her background... How? When? Why? What now...? Same questions kept buzzing in my head as I kept looking at her…
As the day came to an end, the ladies of the home performed a dance routine for us – which they had practiced just since two days knowing that we were planning to visit. A folk dance performed with so much ease and grace… it felt like a big Thank You gesture to me.
Sonia – the beautiful girl who had shown so much of spirit – was the only one bold enough to come forward and tell us on all their behalf that they really loved our visit and had a day filled with so much fun and activities. They really wished that we would visit again and spend time with them… everyday they spend the days worrying about their future and thinking of their problems, but that day was made special to them by us. Happiness for them – was a rare gift!
We had really created a big impact – with just the visit of one single day…
As I said goodbye, my eyes kept wondering across all the faces around me… my heart went out to them… I gave them hugs and I gave them my love… I again prayed a “Dua” for them… but that was all I could give them then…
What they really need is for people like us to take a stand for them… with full understanding of their individual situation. They need help – the way they require it. Not the way we understand it. They really need “enablement” – to move successfully and independently ahead in life and to avoid getting sucked back into their old life. They need lots of counselling to get the confidence and positivity back in their life.
They need acceptance, care and love. They need us to stop judging them for their backgrounds and they need unconditional support.
As Linda said, “To make a difference to them, you need to be really positive and believe that there is HOPE for them. You need to demonstrate constant commitment and focused effort and time dedicated to them. We have seen so many transformations and there is always a way to bring life back to them. You just need to be there, be available…and create awareness for this whole racket of human trafficking and their victims…
 
As a beginning in that direction, here I am publishing this article…
Thank you for reading… if you wish to act for and help the victims of human trafficking, please let me know and I will connect you with Linda...

 
 

Confessions of a lady scooter driver... :)


Every time that I tell someone that I ride a scooter to office every day during the peak traffic hours of Mumbai; I get very interesting reactions which vary from sheer disbelief… skepticism… worry… to even pity! Many people think that it has something to do with my income status, as in their mind, any sane person who can afford a car would not bother with a scooter. I have lost the number of times these good wishing people suggested to me that I should ‘upgrade to’ or try to buy a Nano, which is the cheapest car on the market…

Well, I have learned to take these reactions for what they are… some well-meaning comments by my acquaintances, who have absolutely no idea that I am fully comfortable with my two wheeler ride to office and I am choosing this way of commute… even if I can easily get a car for myself… (This, by the way, need not be a Nano!)

But I am not buying a car… nope… you know why?

Just think… who are the drivers suffering the most on our roads?

Are they the BEST drivers who think that they own the road and who are so used to driving the buses that they treat those huge red monsters like a powerful bike which they can zig zag across the narrow roads anyway they wish? Or are they auto-rickshaw or taxi drivers who are forever driving as if they are in a formula one race? From experience I know that they are definitely not the two wheeler drivers who can maneuver their way from any density of traffic using whatever scrap piece of road/ footpath is available... not to mention some of whom feel that their helmet protects their whole body from any kind of injury and makes them invincible…

The drivers who suffer the most on these roads are our dear car owners with their very dear cars. They are bullied and forced to be the last to get out of any road in the race of all these vehicles. Whenever there is an opening on the road for which at a time 5 vehicles are competing, it is always the car driver who is forced to be the last. He cannot afford even a brush against a giant bus, whose driver is fully aware of, and is ruthlessly leveraging its size and strength to bully his way ahead… He cannot take on the waiting-to-fight-with-you taxi drivers… and he is always forced to be cautious with I-am-too-tired-to-think-how-I-am-driving rickshaw drivers. And if by chance a single bike has passed from that opening, all the vehicles will have to wait till ALL the two wheelers pass from that one foot gap. It is actually quite a feat that the bikers achieve when they manage to create a single vehicle of 30-40 wheels out of a line of 15-20 bikes/ scooters...

So if you ask me, for personal driving, the smaller the vehicle, the better choice it is for our over-used, highly-abused, always-neglected, forever-in-need-of-repair and magically-shrinking Mumbai roads!

One more aspect which adds on to the ‘concern’ my well-wishers feel for me is their belief that it is completely OK for a guy to drive a bike, but not for a lady… it can be quite dangerous. If I didn’t know better, I would feel that they are more concerned about the danger I create for others by driving a scooter… but since they have no qualms about a lady driving a car, which can prove more dangerous for road-safety… I feel they might be genuinely worried about me…

So here’s the other side of that coin…

After the feminist revolution of last century which brought the women on an equal footing with the men, we ladies have lost something… and that something is the chivalry, the courteousness, the gentleness of the male population which was so favorably afforded to the women in those historic days...

However there are indeed some places left in today’s world where (surprisingly) the men are always gentlemanly towards women… and believe it or not, our heavily-traffic-laden roads is one such place!

 Even if they are racing like maniacs against each other on a road, the guys will always give an extra second for a lady to pass ahead if required. If they realize that it’s a lady in the queue in front of them, which is moving from the 1 foot space between footpath and the main road from where all the bikers are moving like ants on a trail of sugar, there will not be any honking if the lady gets stuck due to some bump in the road. If in the traffic you hit the hind wheel of the bike in front of you, the guy might turn with some (interesting) expletives and start on you, but one look at you - the lady driver – will make him nod to indicate that it’s all right! Vice versa, if you get hit from a biker behind you who realized that he hit a lady’s scooter, he’ll be completely contrite and will never think of accusing you of breaking unexpectedly in between… at least openly!

Not only bikers but even our ever-so-hostile rickshaw drivers and taxi drivers are polite towards lady drivers. I need not even mention the numerous incidents when women drivers get help with their vehicles from the men in times of crisis – be it a battery down, flat tire, accident… or anything in between. The gentlemanly courtesy is ever so present for the women drivers on the roads.

However the biggest partiality displayed towards lady drivers is – in my opinion and arguably – by the traffic police! If by chance a lady is caught by a traffic police when she breaks a signal you would be astonished to see the difference in the way the police would address the lady and the fellow gentleman who also happened to break the same signal… one would wonder how can a person speaking with such politeness and gentle tone with a lady switch to street language in next sentence while speaking to the guys.
So guys – nope… I am not buying a car… I will continue to be this distinguished lady scooter driver who loves her two wheeler ride just as well as the next guy who loves his bike J